DRY GOODS

Trouble at Three Mime Island!

Sorry Japan attacked us at Pearl Harbor, but don't look at me. I'm gonna whittle. #BandOfWhittlers

Just what is the "food" part of "cheese food"?

Lt. Dan Choi was fired under DADT. But hey, who needs Arab linguists anyway, right?

'King Vitaman' was a gateway drug to cocaine

Church bingo is a gateway drug to casino gambling

Maybe if we had a National Day of Science instead of Prayer we'd know how to stop a deep sea oil disaster.

Fundies believe that the Earth is only 6000 years old. Hell, Abe Vigoda's almost that age.

Now we know why the Jetsons lived up in the air--it was because of BP

BP has turned the Earth into a big black marble

AIDS was Ronald Reagan's Katrina.

 

If Sarah Palin wants a theocracy, she should move to Iran.

Sarah Palin quit during the talent portion of her term as governor.

Glenn Beck was born with Clown Syndrome.

Keep your eye on Bobby Jindal. He's got quite a future behind him.

Glenn Beck got an honorary degree from an honorary college.

Glenn Beck makes 'The Da Vinci Code' look like an auto repair manual.

 

 

 

Glenn Beck is a Moron--I mean Mormon. No, I was right the first time.

Ron Paul is just a Snuggie away from being that "Heaven's Gate" dude.

 

 

 

Rand Paul calls seat belts Tyranny Straps.

Glenn Beck: Taking America's temperature with a rectal thermometer.

"Where's your mother, Beave? She's not out playing softball, is she?"

Somewhere, Glenn Beck's AA sponsor is DRUNK.

James Inhofe has left a giant carbon ass print on the Earth.

The Self-Righteous Brothers.

I'd vote for Rue Paul before I'd vote for Rand Paul.

John Boehner always looks like he's trying to keep from burping when he talks.

Chuck Norris is not only a terrible actor, he's also a bad singer. He's multi-untalented.

The fact that John Lennon is dead & Pat Boone still lives is reason enough for me to sleep late.

If Fundies really think the Earth is only 6000 years old, where do they think we get fossil fuels?

 

The official decal of Assholes.

Texas is a state where most guys' belt buckles are bigger than their brains.

Rand Paul says he's "weary." Nothing wears you out like defending the rights of racist property owners!

Libertarianism is the crazy Uncle of our political family.

 

Whenever I hear Air Supply, I want to cut off theirs.

Rand Paul supports Emancipation, but doesn't think it should apply to private plantation owners.

Sarah Palin is proof of Unintelligent Design.

Only Sarah Palin could turn 'what do you read' into a Gotcha question.

 

Navy thinking of revising DADT to 'Don't Ask, Don't Tickle'.

  1. November 6, 2013 at 1:54 am

    Yes! Finally something about Felis tigrina.

  2. December 31, 2011 at 3:27 am

    Earn Budget,such woman music television enough bus promote crime single identify public absence meal appear poor small become up creation motion much police treaty silence attack distance add tool she music summer fuel cold on bloody suggest sorry time full iron transfer convention wash labour apply construction hate sun study trouble opposition own end collect cup bank factory approach glass against motion figure score little policy newspaper corner proper read card join among lift as over even event boy star program alone rich independent receive earn apply appearance

  3. March 13, 2011 at 10:31 pm

    Science is much more helpful than prayer…rational thought. However, people in Japan have attached much importance to science and left behind something spiritual…as a result of it, a spiritual void has remained. Sarin gas attack on Tokyo Subway system by Japanese cult (1995) symbolizes this empty void. The problem is how to balance the both, I think. (Who built up atomic power plants?)

    • Blah Blah Blah
      December 26, 2012 at 10:36 pm

      Ya and the most religious western country has 19 mass shootings in 5 years. I hope America attaches as much importance to science for their own sake. I’m pretty sure they’d like Japan’s crime rates and “empty void,” even if you correct for population.

  4. Merry Kogut
    July 1, 2010 at 6:05 pm

    Loved your tweet yesterday – the one KO selected. It was grreat!

  5. Tim Corrimal
    June 27, 2010 at 3:07 pm

    Fantastic Analysis. You should add to the belt buckle one. “… And Penises.”

  6. elsa corral
    June 27, 2010 at 2:54 pm

    Perfect, pegged it again. I think they pad their undies in texas, just guessing. I missed Abe Vigoda, thanks for that, Rand needs a new toupe n let’s just ship Palin to mideast, cut red tape…that’s one reg I’d cut for her.

  7. May 22, 2010 at 4:51 pm

    Someone tried to befriend me on Facebook who had that avatar: “Don’t tread on me.” Obviously,I ignored it. They are neo-patriots.

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