OTOOLEFAN GOES TO IRELAND – Part 6
Today was the day we checked out of our comfortable bed and breakfast place and headed for the big red house.
What is the big red house? Why, it is the Independent Clifden Hostel.
This is our first descent into Hostel Land. It is quite a place, boys and girls.
Our warden is named Allison. She showed us our cave and the interlocking beds. Each bed has a number painted on it. I’m 22.
It looked just like the barracks in Hogan’s Heroes.
After Allison showed us our room, she said,
“If there’s anything you need, just ask me.”
Steve and I exchanged eye messages.
Luckily there aren’t many tourists or hostelers around yet so the Clifden Hostel is not overrun with simps – just two wardens – one fat one from Canada and one skinny rail from Australia.
The one from Canada, Allison, is fond of saying,
She looks around the room and her partner says,
“Take a walk.”
“I’m too lazy.”
You see, the problem with staying in a Hostel like this (£3.50), is that initially you save money – but you spend the money you saved on forgetting where you’re staying.
And indeed that’s what happened.
The sky became very clear and we glimpsed a Connemara sunset while we were in a pub called “Humanity Dick.”
Also today, Steve and I walked all the way out on Sky Road again, this time going past Peter O’Toole’s house and onto the beach.
After all the beauty we walked back to the Independent Clifden Hostel to see if those ugly Hostel wardens had gotten any cuter.
We asked both of them to come back to the pub with us for a beer.
Only one could go because there always had to be a warden on duty.
The plump girl from Canada with the sweater around her ass came with us.
We tried the door of “Humanity Dick,” but it was locked, so we strolled on down to Paedar O’Toole’s.
Here we exchanged profound banter about the universe.
We stayed and drank in the bar, til 1:00 a.m. Then it was time to head back to the big red house with Allison.
She had downed a few glasses of Bulmer’s Cider and was a bit jarred.
So anyway, we’re walking down the street and suddenly this Allison girl says,
“I gotta go call my parents.”
And she leaves to do this!
Steve and I went back to our cave bedroom and began singing obnoxious rock songs. After about three album’s worth of solid rock, we launched into a rather long version of “L.A. Woman.” Halfway through our rendition a girl yelled,
“Boys, will you shut up!”
“Mission accomplished,” said Steve.